either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
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