This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
You are the jesus of drinking
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
