If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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