hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I just gift wrapped bread.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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