A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
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