Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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