OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
