I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
