GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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