im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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