do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
