I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
