The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
bring money and cleavage
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
