she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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