aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
