I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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