i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
