i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
