i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
