We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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