So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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