I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Randomize