hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
