i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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