What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
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