i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
