Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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