I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
your room smells of hookers.
And success
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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