I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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