You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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