It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
