Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
