drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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