just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
