There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
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