she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize