I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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