real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
