lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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