you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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