from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
