I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
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