I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
you didnt know i had herpes?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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