Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Acid is not a monday night drug
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
NoShamevember. You game?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
