Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
