Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
