The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
