She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
