My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
