I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
