I'm so fucking centered right now
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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