I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize