it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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