I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
