So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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