he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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