Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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