I'm so fucking centered right now
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
babies were throwing up all over the place
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
