I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
only you would photoshop your dick
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Randomize
