69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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