can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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