I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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