I think I just saw someone hide a body.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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