Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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