It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
