Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
