At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Randomize
