the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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