I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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