well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
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