it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
