seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize