Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
