Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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